The Man Without A Heart

Copyright ©1982 by Odell Sneeden Hathaway III

"A man without a heart"—that is what they called me. If only they knew. But how could they know? To them, I am the monster that destroyed their Lord, the hideous heathen who tossed their God into the flames of hell.

Seldom, when they think of me, do they remember that he came out of them—which is fine. When I did it, I did not know that he would be resurrected. Some pardon me for saying that, at some deep spiritual level, I was asked to take on this task—to collect the burdens of mankind to be tossed into that flame as well. But now that I have died, I can see my whole soul, and never till I met Christ did I have any idea what was before me.

That moment was one of the most glorious of all time. As soon as I saw him, I was in love—a love only shared by two beings as close as we were in spirit. The other eleven did not know of it. They could not feel the closeness. They were at a lower level than Christ and I. I knew I loved Christ more than any of the Marys—more than all the disciples put together. But there was a third for me. I knew, but I did not understand. I knew that I loved Christ. I knew he was the Son of God, but I also knew he was a man. I knew that God needed Christ to be killed. Actually, I knew the question: “Can mankind continue? Are you capable of fulfilling my plan? If you are, you will be on your own from this point on. It will be up to mankind!” And by that he meant me.

I alone, out of all the life of the earth—all the way back to Eve—had to decide: should God step in at this point and, by stepping in, lose himself, or could mankind stand on its own two feet?

They say I have no heart. If only that were true. If only I could have decided with my mind alone—knowing how much it meant for God’s word to be true, knowing that God had a plan—I could have killed Christ with no problem. But that was not all it was. It was the one thing on this earth I loved most, yet I had to kill him to save God.

I had no idea what would come after. I thought Christ was a man; I did not know of the resurrection. I knew only that God told me to kill Christ.

When you come before the seat of God, you will see his Christ sitting at his right hand. But you will find God embracing many people—among them myself and Eve.

Next: Do we have the right not to play with and bend each other?