Christmas Letter 2008

Dear friends,

It’s my custom this time of year to share the gift of self—to tell you a bit about what the last year has brought me.

The happiest surprise was finding Facebook and reconnecting with so many friends. If you’re not on it, I recommend it—it feels more “grown-up” than other sites.

As for the year itself… you know the Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times.” That about covers it. But here’s more.

The year began bittersweet. On Christmas Day I looked up from writing and saw snow—a light dusting, but still snow on Christmas. I was thrilled, then sad, thinking how much Linda would have loved it… or how our never-born children would have loved it.

In February my old friend Mike Auerbach (since 2nd grade) visited to give me “hanging out” lessons—skills he thinks I’ll need to meet someone new. I wasn’t a great student. I’m following my mentor Weaver’s advice instead: “No hurry. Let the right woman find you. Make yourself beautiful within. The moths come to the lighted lantern.”

In March my cat Trillian got sick and I had to put her down. In April a friend found a kitten in the woods; I adopted her and named her Cosette. Now I have Samantha (one of Linda’s cats) and Cosette.

In spare moments I keep writing—still working on my book and I finished a 20-page paper on the meaning of success.

Before Linda died we were planning Maui. I still needed rest, and something kept calling me to see sunrise at Haleakalā. So I turned it into a spiritual retreat: four sunrises, lots of reading and meditation, one day snorkeling, only ten minutes on a beach. I’d dreamed of meeting someone there—an anima of sorts—but she didn’t appear. Perhaps that inner work was the point.

A reminder that we’re all getting older: my niece Carolyn got married in August. I remember the day she learned to talk—went from zero to twenty words in a day. Now she’s a college grad and a married young woman. On that LA trip I visited Laura Brown (Linda’s sister) and spent time with Mike.

I also visited places from my past—old apartments, Van Nuys Airport, the schools, and more—and had breakfast with Susan and Jon to hear about seminary (she’s living a dream I once had).

For my birthday I escaped to the Boreas Inn—wonderful stay—and Susie introduced me to Facebook. Thank you, Susie.

Those were the bright spots. Health-wise, less bright. The good: continued facial recovery—by September I could move my forehead; in February my lips were still peeling daily. I’ve worked hard on weight: from 303 lbs before Linda died down about 100 lbs. Injuries and other issues stalled me just above 200; goal is 180.

In July I began having bouts of breathing problems—likely tied to the neurological issues—so I added new neurologists and more tests. A July CT (thyroid cancer follow-up) showed lung nodules; a September PET said the lungs weren’t cancer, but there was cancer in my neck. An October needle biopsy confirmed metastatic papillary/follicular thyroid cancer in the lymph system. Unfair, right? No thyroid, yet thyroid cancer—it’s like being told I need a hysterectomy.

Surgery was scheduled for November 25, two days before Thanksgiving. I’m writing early and planned to add a note afterward.

After surgery comes another round of radioactive iodine. It doesn’t hurt, but it makes you feel awful for months.

I hope next year is less “interesting.”

Thank you all for your support, friendship, prayers, and for being you—my friends.

As Tiny Tim said, “God bless us, every one!”

Love,
Odell

PS. At 3:00 PM on November 25 I was wheeled into the OHSU OR for a neck dissection. It went very well. By 3:00 AM I was walking the halls and eating Jell-O. My doctor said I did better than most; I credit the twice-daily workouts the week before. My parents stayed a little over a week to help. Pathology found not one (as expected) but three lymph nodes with cancer. I’ll have radioactive iodine just before or just after Christmas.

I’m very weak from stopping thyroid meds to prepare for treatment—last time it took 6–9 months to get my energy back. I hope I can keep the weight off; too little thyroid can cause gain.

I do wonder what’s next. My life seems to change around Thanksgiving:

  • Nov 1994 – First visit to the Northwest
  • Nov 1995 – Bought my house
  • Nov 1996 – Asked Anca to marry me (she said yes, then later ended it)
  • Nov 2000 – Linda and I visited LA
  • Nov 2007 – Finished first draft of From Crack to Kitty Litter
  • Nov 2008 – Modified neck dissection

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