Linda my Love "GOODBYE"
How Do I Say “GOODBYE”?
My beloved, how do I say “GOODBYE”? How can I let go of you? It took me so long to find you—years alone, searching, wanting, yearning. At last we found each other. God, I loved you so. The touch of your hand, the light in your eyes, the wonder of your mind. Finally, I was not alone. I had a friend, lover, woman, and child all in one. I loved you more than words can say.
How do I say “GOODBYE”? How do I get up every morning without you there? How do I sleep every night without feeling you near, whispering “I love you” as you fall asleep? Why should I, when all I want to do is cry and die!
How do I say “GOODBYE”? So many dreams we shared, so many hopes are gone. Your future is gone—and you have stolen mine. You were everything to me: my love, my life, my wife.
How do I say “GOODBYE”? For years my everything was the struggle to keep you alive—the fight to keep you safe from yourself. How do I deal with the failure, the loss, the pain?
How do I say “GOODBYE”? Do I have the right? I loved you, but your heart could not be mine. To me, the touch of your lips, the feel of your skin, the soul in your eyes was divine. But I meant less to you than the drugs you loved—the glass pipe that burned you, the needle that scarred you, the cocaine that took your mind and then your life.
How do I say “GOODBYE”? I do not want to say “GOODBYE”! I want to wake every day with you clean and happy by my side. I want to hold you, love you, and watch our children grow old with you. I want to make love to you at eighty and hold you when you finally rest, having lived a wonder-filled life full of love. That is what I wanted to give you, what I strived for eight years to do—and what I swore at the altar.
How do I say “GOODBYE”? I do not know if I can. All I know is that I love you and always will.
Linda, “GOODBYE, my love.”
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