How I See It: Reflections on spirituality, technology, and the art of everyday life

Christmas Letter 2007 Dear Friends, It is my custom at this time of year to celebrate with my friends by giving them the gift of self—to share with you some of what the last year has brought me. Most of you know the big event of my year, and if I did not let you know when it happened, I am sorry. I did my best under the worst conditions imaginable. This year started out pretty normal. Linda was happy at her new job and doing very well. She was supposed to visit her family in Texas for New Year’s Day, but bad weather postponed the trip until mid-February. For her birthday, I took her to the Boreas Bed and Breakfast in Long Beach, Washington. When she woke on her first day as a forty-six-year-old, she told me she was surprised—that she had never believed she would live to be forty-five, and now that was behind her. In March, I had a major setback in my recovery from my neurological problems. For several weeks I had to use a cane because my left side was so weak I needed...

The lay of Alyintitton and Valareinhildë. Dedicated to that 1st little girl I fell in love with and will never forget. Elbereth, oh Elemmíre, my hope and my despair. Long ago you rescued, me you raised me to the air. Deep and dark my life had been, bereft of woman's care! Until I heard you call to me, like sunshine through the air. Conflict it stirred deep in my soul, a son of Surak's line. To love was not to be for me, even if that love were thine. For years I hid my self from you, what torture I endured. None should know my hidden truth, the secret that I hid. No Vulcan hart did beat in me, it was a man's instead. Long ago I laid it down, I thought that it was dead. But deep in side it called to you, with wonder and with dread. Then at last I set it free, to search for you my love. I saw your face, it felt like heady wine. To me you were a goddess, much more then human kind. Like Lúthien Tinúviel, you seemed to me divine. In beaut...

How Do I Say “GOODBYE”? My beloved, how do I say “GOODBYE”? How can I let go of you? It took me so long to find you—years alone, searching, wanting, yearning. At last we found each other. God, I loved you so. The touch of your hand, the light in your eyes, the wonder of your mind. Finally, I was not alone. I had a friend, lover, woman, and child all in one. I loved you more than words can say. How do I say “GOODBYE”? How do I get up every morning without you there? How do I sleep every night without feeling you near, whispering “I love you” as you fall asleep? Why should I, when all I want to do is cry and die! How do I say “GOODBYE”? So many dreams we shared, so many hopes are gone. Your future is gone—and you have stolen mine. You were everything to me: my love, my life, my wife. How do I say “GOODBYE”? For years my everything was the struggle to keep you alive—the fight to keep you safe from yourself. How do I deal with the failure, the loss, the pain? ...